The National Prevaricator Returns after Yet Another Abduction
By Gremlin

GOPHERTOWN, FL [NP]
Following the latest in what appears to be a series of unexplained abductions, the National Prevaricator has returned after several months without a word.
Strangely, the NP Home Office, which mysteriously disappeared off the face of the planet in July 2002 from Denver, CO, has mysteriously reappeared in the beautiful city of Gophertown, FL -- an island community located in the Florida Keys.
'It's inconvenient,' reports an NP Staff Writer who wished to remain anonymous, 'I like Florida well enough and all, but it's a hell of a commute to the office every day from my home in Arvada [Colorado]. I'd really prefer it if we could get the office moved back to the Denver area, or at least open a branch here [in Denver] so I wouldn't have to drive four thousand miles a day.
Asked for theories regarding the latest disappearance of the National Prevaricator, the Staff Writer says, 'No idea. No idea at all.'
Other Staff Writers theorise everything from alien abductions to terrorist activities to witchcraft.
'Personally, I doubt this was anything supernatural,' claims Maggie Pernucklivichsky of Gophertown, a leading expert in mysterious Floridan reappearances, 'I've been reading the paper for years, and I've always figured the people writing it were just too lazy to update it very often.'